NIGHT CLASSES FOR MEN - SIGN-UP NOW!
Classes for Men at the Local Learning Center for Adults
Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, courses will accept a maximum of 8 participants each.
COURSE 1 - How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays. Step by step, with slide presentations.
COURSE 2 - The Toilet Paper Roll: Do They Grow on the Holders? Round table discussion.
COURSE 3 - Is it Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat Up and Avoiding the Floors/Walls and Nearby Bathtub? Group practice.
COURSE 4 -Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the floor. Pictures and explanatory graphics.
COURSE 5 - The After-Dinner Dishes and Silverware: Can They Levitate and Fly into the Kitchen Sink? Examples on video.
COURSE 6 - Loss of Identity: Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other. Help line support and support groups.
COURSE 7 - Learning How to Find Things, Starting With Looking in the Right Place Instead of Turning the House Upside Down While Screaming. Open forum.
COURSE 8 -Health Watch: Bringing Her Flowers is NOT Harmful to Your Health. Graphics and audio tape.
COURSE 9 - Real Men Ask for Directions When Lost. Real life testimonials.
COURSE 10 - Is It Genetically Impossible to Sit Quietly as She Parallel Parks? Driving simulation.
COURSE 11 - Learning to Live: Base Differences Between Mother and Wife. On-line class and role playing.
COURSE 12 - How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion. Relaxation exercises, meditation, and breathing techniques.
COURSE 13 - How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy: Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries, Other Important Dates, and Calling When You're Going to Be Late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.
Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
We who live in free market societies believe that growth, prosperity and ultimately human fulfillment, are created from the bottom up, not the government down. Only when the human spirit is allowed to invent and create, only when individuals are given a personal stake in deciding economic policies and benefitting from their success -- only then can societies remain economically alive, dynamic, progressive, and free. Trust the people. This is the one irrefutable lesson of the entire postwar period contradicting the notion that rigid government controls are essential to economic development.
-- Ronald Reagan - (1911-2004) 40th US President
